


It started in a park

by SuperxjinX



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Aziraphale's Bookshop (Good Omens), Denial, Evil, Fluff, Good, Heaven, Hell, How Do I Tag, Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Realization, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-06-27 07:25:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19786069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperxjinX/pseuds/SuperxjinX
Summary: Aziraphale was smiling a smile that was so bright crowley was glad he had his shades on.The almost end of the world is over.. so whats stopping them?





	1. A lovely day

**Author's Note:**

> So hii!!  
> This is my first ever fic that i have posted so go easy on me guys..  
> I can't get enough of these two arghh

It had been a week since the almost apocolypse. The world had returned to normality. Well almost normality if you didn't notice all the wonderful small changes. Not that any human would. They wouldn't even have known what had happened.

Crowley was sitting in the park close to his apartment, watching the people and children stroll by. He smiled in spite of himself at the happiness he saw there. Not that he would ever admit such a thing, he was a demon after all. Human happiness was of no concern to him.

If anything he should be trying his best to ruin someone's day. He glanced to the left of him, eyeing a couple having a picnic under a close by maple tree. He could do something there, no? Could sneak over and put wicked thoughts in the woman's head. Make her think that her partner had been doing terrible things behind her back.

He mulled this over in his mind as he watched them. The woman feeding her partner a small piece of cheese. The smile she got back from her partner reminded Crowley of cheese. He looked away. 

In all honesty he wasn't feeling too evil today. He supposed with hell not keeping so much of a close watch on him what did it matter? He didn't have to do evil bidding anymore. Well he didn't have to do it today anyway.

A picnic though, hmm? This made him think of the angel. Thinking of Aziraphale always made a smile creep onto Crowley's lips. Not a wicked smile but a warm, genuine smile you get when you think of something you are truely fond of.

He snorted at this thought. Fond eh? Is that how he wanted to put his feelings for the angel? Well he supposed that it wasn't a incorrect word. He was very fond of the angel. It just didn't quite fit all of his feeling into it. Surely if he had to put it into words it would be something more like lo..

He heard a familiar throat clear just to his right. He jumped in spite of himself and looked round quickly. Aziraphale stood close to the bench looking rather happy with himself. Crowley swallowed.

"Hello there dear" Aziraphale said cheerfully, taking a seat on the bench beside Crowley. "what a beutiful day it is"

"Err yhh i s'pose it is" crowley replied rather to quickly, looking back in front of him, trying to seem very interested in a duck bobbing along the surface of the lake.

Aziraphale didn't notice the quick reply or the tenseness of Crowley's shoulders. He sat beside him smiling happily, also looking at the duck.

Crowley snuck a look at Aziraphale, he took a deep unneeded breath before turning to face the angel. Aziraphale looked so happy, to happy really.. it wasn't that nice of a day.

"Whats got you smiling like that?" Crowley asked, leaning back on the bench in the casual loungy way he always did. 

"Oh! Well im happy you see" Aziraphale looked back at him in that warm way he always did. 

"I just found myself looking out the front window of the shop today and thinking how happy i am. All is well, my shop is back to its glorious self. Plus i even have a few extra books i never had before" explained Aziraphale beaming at the demon.

"Oh yeah? Thats good then isn't it" mumbled Crowley looking down at his faux snakeskin boots. He wouldn't wear real snakeskin, even he as a demon felt that was wrong.

"Feeling all holier than thou are we? I mean i don't blame you, we did save the world after all" Crowley grinned at the angel, golden eyes taking in his form. Aziraphale was wearing his usual get up, cream waist coat and duck egg blue shirt. With that infuriatingly cute bowtie. Cute.. Not a word he would use for anyone else.

"Well i was thinking about the world we saved yes. I wouldn't say I was feeling holier than thou but i suppose i am in a way" joked Aziraphale nudging Crowley with his elbow letting out a small laugh.

Aziraphale was smiling a smile that was so bright Crowley was glad he had his shades on. He felt a heat spread across his face but didn't try to hide it. Such a beautiful smile. Such a beautiful face. A being of pure love and joy it almost burnt Crowley's skin.

And just like that without realizing what he was doing Crowley leant forward and kissed his cheek. Aziraphale's eyes widened and his smile turned to a shocked 'o' his cheeks becoming a fiery red.

Crowely leant slightly back looking at his angel, his cheeks also aflame. Seeing the look on Aziraphale's face he realized what he had done and suddenly pulled all the way back almost falling off the bench. 

"Uhh.. ahh.. i-i err" Crowley struggled for words as Aziraphale just stared wide eyed and red face at the flustered demon beside him.

"Crowley.." Aziraphale began his words coming so feather soft.

He didn't get to say much else though as Crowley jumped up from where he was sitting, re-adjusting his shades. 

Crowley gave a nervouse laugh looking down at the shocked angel. The angel had brought his hand to his cheek where those lips had touched.

"Lift home?" Crowley smiled down at him as if nothing had happend. He turned on his heels and quickly started strolling back to where the Bentley was parked at the edge of the park.

Aziraphale didn't move at first just watched stunned as the demon quickly strutted away.

"yes" he whispered. "lift home"'


	2. Maybe not a lovely day

Aziraphale stood from the bench on slightly shaky legs. He cleared his throat again, running his hands down his front to flatten his already perfectly smooth waistcoat. His cheeks felt like they were on fire and he had a strange feeling in his stomach, a feeling similar to falling.

He started walking, his hand finding its way to his cheek again. He had been shocked by the sudden show of affection. It was unlike the demon to show such a soft side. He certainly wasn't expecting it, stuck in such a giddy happiness. He saw the Bentley coming into view, Crowley was already inside fiddling with the stereo.

Aziraphale shook out his arms, trying to calm the strange feeling he was experiencing. He walked around to the passenger side and opened the door, the by now familiar sound of Queen greeted him. He fought against a small smile as he got in beside Crowley. The demon didn't look at him as he wriggled to get comfortable.

Crowley made a strange noise in his throat then started the Bentley, immediately reaching ninety miles per hour in under thirty seconds. Aziraphale squeezed his eyes shut and clutched the door handle. He had never gotten used to driving at such ridiculous speeds, he suspected he never would. He opened his eyes long enough to peek at Crowley, he was staring straight ahead a small smirk on his face as he swerved to scare a poor little old lady. Aziraphale held in his tut and just tried to focus on his death grip on the door.

Before long they were skidding to a halt in front of the book shop. Aziraphale released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. The drive had left him feeling rather flustered. He looked over at Crowley again offering a smile that faded almost immediately when he saw the look on the demon's face. He just stared straight ahead his mouth pulled into a tight line.

"Well.. thank you for dropping me home" he offered, trying to gain Crowley's attention. 

"S'alright" was the only reply he got back. Aziraphale creased his brow and looked down at his hands which were clasped together tightly in his lap.

"Would you like to come inside? I have an exquisite bottle of chardonnay i have been saving since last decade. It's such a nice day i thought i would open it" he tried hiding the slight wobble to his voice, pulling his face into the biggest smile he could muster.

Crowley's shoulders went stiff and this time Aziraphale did notice, his smile faltered. 

"Ngkhh, nah that's okay. I er.. I have things to be getting on with. Trouble to spread and all that.." Crowley said all this without so much of a glance in the angels direction.

"Ah right.. of course. Another time then?" There was slight longing in Aziraphale's voice as he said this. His own voice betraying him in such a way, he swallowed thickly opening the passenger door.

Crowley gave him a short quick nod waving his hand at him. 

"Well, see you then" Aziraphale said hopping out of the car if not feeling a little bit deflated. Crowley gave a curt grunt now focusing all his attention on the pattern on his steering wheel. Aziraphale felt slightly hurt and properly confused in the change of behavior. One second he was being offered such a soft show of affection and now the demon wouldn't even look at him. He didn't say anything more as he shut the door. The second the door clicked shut the Bentley sped off and was around the corner in under a minute.

Aziraphale stood on the curb watching the car go holding onto his jacket sleeves much tighter than he had realized. He sighed deeply shaking his head and crossed the street to the door of the book shop. As he was about to open the door a faint blur of a memory fluttered into his mind.  _ Rain on the book shop window. Empty wine bottles littering the floor. Crowley's smile. _

Then it was gone before he could properly recall the time. 

He pushed the feeling this mustered in his stomach aside and stepped into the store. He flipped the open sign to closed and pulled down the blinds. His happy mood had left him. He decides to rearrange the entirety of his book shelves to take his mind off it.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Crowley grit his teeth as he sped through the streets of london. He took great pleasure in almost hitting a cyclist and let out a manic giggle as the man screamed and fell off his bike. He had changed his mind maybe he did feel evil today. Truly he knew he was just feeling disappointed and frustrated with himself all together. What was he thinking? Clearly nothing.. He was so stupid. Stupid.  **Stupid** !!

The look of shock on the angels face kept playing on his mind, imprinted there. He stomped down on the accelerator as if to flee from the image. He is a demon for chr.. for sata.. argh for whatever's sake. Of course the angel must have been disgusted, horrified even. Someone like him daring to touch such a holy creature. No.. he didn't have the right. Maybe if he had never fallen then.. then what exactly? 

They had co-existed as they were for thousands of years. Did he really think anything could change? What did he want exactly anyway? 

"Arghhhh!" Crowley growled out in pure frustration. He should have known not to do anything, to expect the angel to return his feelings. Feelings he had been harbouring for over 6000 years now. 

His mind skipped back to the night he had tried to explain how he felt to the angel. Both thoroughly smashed from way to many bottles of wine. 

"Yeah, and how did that go?" He spoke out loud to no one in particular. It hadn't gone as anything. He roughly shook his head almost hard enough to knock off his shades. Willing the memory out of his mind. He bet the angel didn't even remember what happened that night. Probably for the best anyway.. 

He carried on driving right past his apartment deciding to go find himself some trouble to start, nice and far from london. Nice and far away from the angel that was haunting his mind.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankyou for reading :)


	3. A blurred memory

_ The memory in question took place a little over a year before Crowley was given the unwanted job of delivering the antichrist. _

  
  


_ It had been raining solidly for the past 12 hours. The people of london hiding away in their homes or battling against the rain to get to where they needed to go. Aziraphale sat at his desk at the back of his bookshop, bent over a scroll from the 17th century. He had not moved from that spot for a good 6 hours, brow furrowed in concentration. _

_ His back suddenly stiffened as he felt a presence enter his shop through the back door. He took off his glasses and gently placed them beside the scroll, rising hurriedly from his chair. He knew who it was, of course, he was all to familiar with  _ **_this_ ** _ presence. He waiting somewhat impatiently wringing his hands in front of his chest. He swallowed as the snake slithered around the corner of the door frame, raising its head up to look directly at the angel.  _

_ Aziraphale controlled the urge to fidget under that gaze, the golden snake eyes taking in his form. Although he felt apprehensive he could not help but stare at the snakes scales. In spite of himself he felt a slight smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he thought to himself how beautiful the colours were.  _

_ "Hello Crowley, what an unexpected plea.. an unexpected surprise" greeted Aziraphale, mentally berating himself for the almost slip of the tongue.  _

_ Crowley looked at him a while longer then proceeded to slither over to the sofa against the wall. The angel watched as he slipped up on to the cushions, then with an almost silent pop Crowley sat there in his human form. _

_ "Hello angel" Crowley grinned, pulling a pair of shades from his black velvet jacket pocket. "I was in the area you see, had some time to killll" he dragged out the last word making Aziraphale feel a little uncomfortable.  _

_ "Ah, yes, quite right. Spreading some kind of trouble I presume?" Aziraphale asked, he relaxed a bit folding his arms behind his back to stop himself from grasping them tightly in front of him. Crowely leaned back into the soft sofa cushions, crossing an ankle over his thigh and stretching his arm along the back.  _

_ "Yep, some pretty brilliant trouble I'd say. Head office is going to love this one" said crowley grinning wide at the angel. Aziraphale rolled his eyes at this, he stood stiffly now in his current position. Crowley noticed this but didn't comment, he secretly enjoyed the disapproving look the angel shot him. _

_ "I suspect they would, quite bad is it? Whatever you have been up to?" Aziraphale asked, rather too quickly for his own liking. He was, in fact, rather pleased to see the demon. It had been quite a while since they had had any meetings and the angel had begun to feel quite lonely. He still had a presence of caution though, Crowley was a demon after all, always up to trouble. _

_ "Oh yes, quite a great idea if I do say so myself" Crowley said the words with a slight air of arrogance that made the angel audiably 'tut'.  _

_ "So what brought you here then?" Aziraphale asked, trying to uncover any hidden motives the demon must have, also hoping quite privately that the demon had just wanted to see him. _

_ Crowley looked at the angel, pursing his lips before taking a breath. _

_ "Like I said angel, i was in the area" this wasn't a complete lie, crowley had at least been in london, not at all close to soho though. He had been trying to bring down the television station's in all the London area. An idea he felt quite proud of, imagine all the angry people sitting down to dinner and getting greeted with a blank screen. All those television executives pulling out their hair and screaming at the lower downs. It had been a brilliant plan as Crowley had put it until he arrived home and realized he couldn't watch his favorite show. _

_ So he had decided to go for a drive. It wasn't his favorite weather, the rain brought with it a cold and Crowley was cold enough these days, but he drove nonetheless. Before he had realized it he had been parked outside the bookshop. Queen was blaring through the radio at him, he didn't even notice the volume as he stared at the shop. Crowley glanced at himself in the driver's side mirror. Copper hair almost shoulder length, although it already looked perfect he found himself trying to fix it anyway. He never had trouble with looking good, he was, well, rather good and looking good. This didn't stop him fussing over his hair at this moment. He hadn't seen the angel in quite a while, he wanted to look presentable. _

_ What the angel thought of him meant a great deal more to Crowley than he would ever admit. The angel meant a great deal more to Crowley than anything ever had. He had stayed away from Aziraphale for so long for a reason, he had been finding it particularly difficult to keep his feelings in check as of late. He was terrified the angel would be able to sense these flashes of adoration and affection and.. love. That's the word that terrified Crowley, love. He had always known that he had a certain amount of fondness for the angel, but over the past few centuries it was becoming harder and harder to deny it was much more than fondness that kept the demon so close to the angel. Much more that mere work. _

_ So here he was sitting amongst the angels plush cushions on his very old but very comfortable sofa. The angel had started to fidget at the long silence, shifting weight from one leg to the other. Maybe Crowley should just put it out there, let the angel know what he was thinking. Aziraphale was an angel, all for the forgiving and understanding and whatnot that came with the title. Crowely felt his heart quicken in his chest and hoped the angel couldn't sense how he was feeling. _

_ Aziraphale  _ **_could_ ** _ sense something though, something so familiar to him, something that always brought him such joy to feel, but coming from Crowley? He must be wrong, he had been sitting still for so long he assumed he was just weary and was getting his senses all mixed up. It hadn't been the first time, he had felt this before from the demon, but had always tried to feign ignorance to them. _

_ "Angel.." Crowley began now looking at Aziraphale's perfectly polished brown brogue shoes, he couldn't bring himself to look at Aziraphale's face. "I thought maybe we could talk?" _

_ Aziraphale's breath caught in his throat. Talk? The way Crowley had said it, in a tone so unlike him, so unsure.  _

_ "Talk? Yes dear boy. What would you like to talk about? If you want to brag about your evil biddings i'm afraid i do not wish to partake" Aziraphale stated the last part quite matter of factly, trying his best to hide the fact that his hands had started to shake. _

_ Crowley's jaw clenched as he quickly glanced up at the angels face before looking back at his shoes. "I don't want to talk about that" he said willing himself to sound more sure and less like a timid child. _

_ "Oh, right, well what then?" Aziraphale prodded. _

_ "I er.." he paused then realizing just how difficult this whole situation was. He should have just stayed at home, curled up under a heat lamp in his snake form and slept for a few days or weeks. He looked up then pulling his mouth into a hopefully convincing grin. "Have you anymore of that vintage wine? Been fancying a bit of that" Crowley lied, again, why was he like this? Oh yeah demon.. _

_ "You wanted to talk to me about my vintage wine?" Aziraphale hid the disappointment with a fake scowl. "Crowley I was quite busy before you interrupted me, and for wine? Honestly couldn't you just do yourself a little demonic miracle, you know, get some yourself?"  _

_ "Well, yeah obviously i could, but seeing as I was in the area I thought we could share a bottle. It's been a long time since we have drank together" Crowley was a little taken back by the way the angel sounded, he felt something akin to agitation flowing off the angel. "You have all the time in the world to read damn scrolls". _

_ "I beg your pardon! This scroll is anything but damned, I will have you know thats its a rather holy scroll actually" the angel spat out feeling rather flustered. _

_ "Just a phrasing of words angel" Crowley said raising his hands up in a mock show of surrender to the angel. "Well if your so busy i will find someone else to drink with" the demon stood from the sofa making a turn for the door. _

_ Aziraphale felt panic bubbling up from deep inside as he saw the demon was about to leave. He didn't really want to be alone. "Crowley wait" he took a step towards the demon, hand stretched out in his direction. _

_ Crowley stopped abruptly turning slightly to give the angel a questioning look. Aziraphale bit his bottom lip then cleared his throat. "I suppose one bottle wouldn't hurt" he said, pleading eyes focused on the demon, silently begging for the fallen angel not to leave so suddenly. Crowley smiled and turned to face the angel fully. Aziraphale pulled his arm back to his side swallowing. _

_ "No, one bottle wouldn't hurt" Crowley stated through his smile. The angel smiled back. _

_ ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ _

_ 4 hours past by, the rain never faltering its heavy downpour on London. Despite his insistence on just  _ **_one_ ** _ bottle, several littered the bookshop floor. Aziraphale sat somewhat lopsided on his desk chair smiling drunkenly into his wine glass. Crowley was pacing the floor in front of him off on a rant about squirrels and the fact that they bark. "I mean s'proper lazy really, if'ya think about it. Calling it a bark. All these languages and they couldn't even think of a new name for the noise a squirrel makes!!" He threw his hands in the air. _

_ Aziraphale was only half listening to this rant, content with just watching the demon pace his shop. He found himself taking in the entirety of Crowley's appearance. He always looks so damn dashing, in his skin tight trousers and elaborate jackets. Through slightly lidded eyes he watched as crowely picked up another bottle of wine, waving his hand to disappear the lid. "Penguins mate for life you know" the angel slurred suddenly. _

_ "I- sorry what?" Crowley looked over at the angel feeling himself sway pleasantly as the copious amount of alcohol rushed through his veins. "Penguins" said Aziraphale matter of factly. Crowley squinted at the angel, he noticed the pink tinge on the angels cheeks. Cute, he smiled, slowly wobbling over to the angel and stumbling awkwardly onto his knees in front of where the angel sat.  _

_ "Penguins aye? Bit like us then really" Crowley drawled out, unconsciously placing his hands on Aziraphales knees to steady himself. _

_ "Like us?" Questioned the angel straightening himself up and eyeing the demon suspiciously. "How so?". _

_ "C'mon angel, think about it for a second. 6000 years is well over the average lifespan of any living creature! We have been together, you could say paired for life". _

_ Aziraphale thought against the wine haze in his mind, was he really hearing Crowley say such a thing. His natural enemy, of course they  _ **_had_ ** _ spent a lot of time together over the last millennia, but that was for work convenience, to get things done quicker with less faff.  _

_ "Work partners" he said looking at the demon who was now gripping the angels knees a little to tightly. Crowley made a rather rude sounding noise making the angel shudder. _

_ Crowley raised himself up on his knees, swaying as he did. In the back of his mind he was screaming at himself to stop. He was so utterly swazzled that he clearly wasn't thinking straight, wasn't thinking of the repercussions of anything he said or did here. He reached out a slightly shaky hand cupping the angels cheek. "Not just work partners angel" he stroked the soft skin of Aziraphale's cheek. _

_ Aziraphale had gone completely stiff under Crowley's touch, unable to move a muscle. He could feel the longing running off of the demon and it was almost suffocating. "Surely Zira.. we are much more than that" Crowley stated, using his other hand to remove his shades. He looked into Aziraphale's deep blue eyes and it was as if the world evaporated around them. He forgot about all his doubts, the wine definitely helping in this matter. He slowly lent forward closing the gap between them, but before he was able to reach his prize he felt two hands firmly push on his chest. _

_ He stumbled, landing hard on his backside. He looked up at the angel in shock, seeing the look of pure torment on his face. With his hands still stretched out in front of him from pushing crowley away he was visibly shaking. _

_ "You really are a wretched creature sometimes Crowley" Aziraphale said so quietly the demon had to lean in to hear. "You take such great pleasure in teasing me don't you?" There was so much hurt in the angels voice, Crowley felt like he had been sucker punched by the sound of them. _

_ "Angel no i wasn't trying to tease yo-" he began, steadying himself and reaching out to try and take one of the angels hands. The hands were pulled away immediately. _

_ "I think its best now if you would leave" Aziraphles hands were clenched tightly into fists on each leg. Crowley couldn't believe his ears. Leave? Aziraphale had never made Crowley leave before. _

_ He reached to touch the angels cheek again determined to show him he was not at all teasing. Aziraphale jumped to his feet stumbling backwards slightly but managing to keep upright. "I said I think you should leave" he stated again shaking harder his face becoming even more red.  _

_ Crowley scrambled to his feet. "Azirapha-". _

_ " _ **_Get out! Now!_ ** _ " The angel screamed screwing his eyes closed as he yelled. Crowley took a step back, thoroughly shook by the angels uncharacteristic shout.  _

_ He opened his mouth but closed it almost instantly. He felt the unfamiliar sensation of tears pricking at his eyes and he blinked hard to shove them aside. They stood staring each other down for what felt like forever. Then Crowley stood up straight, baring his teeth as he ground out "fine". _

_ He turned and was gone in an instant, not bothering to use the door just vanishing himself from the store. The wind hit rain violently against the windows and Aziraphale felt his whole body go numb slowly dropping to his knees. What had he done? Why was he so cruel? It was so unlike him, he had seen red. Assuming the demon was trying to trick him in some way, tempting him into the unspeakable. It was outrageous that the demon even thought they could get away with anything more than just conversation, they were pushing their luck with even that! _

_ Aziraphale slumped sideways onto the floor curling into himself like a fetus. In his drunken state adding all the stress and confusion, his wings had materialized. He draped them around himself blocking out the light of the bookshop and the sound of the rain. He let out a sorrowful sob and for the first time in about two centuries he let himself fall asleep, not even bothering to sober up. For the first time welcoming the silent darkness it brought with it. _

_ ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ _

After that night Crowley kept his distance, he busied himself with causing trouble, staying as far away from Soho as demonly possible. In fact the next time he contacted the angel was the night he had delivered the antichrist. The night that the almost end of the world had been put into motion.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't too happy with how this chapter turned out  
> Im hoping the next on is better
> 
> Kudos are appreciated 
> 
> Thankyou for reading :)


	4. Remembrance and realizations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankyou everyone for the kudos and comments
> 
> Im happy people are enjoying it :)
> 
> I promise the angst is almost over

Aziraphale plopped down heavily onto the sofa looking around at his shop. He had indeed rearranged all his book shelves and then proceeded to rearrange the entire shop. It had kept him busy for a good six hours. In truth he could have miracled it all into place but he had enjoyed the distraction doing it by hand gave him. Humming to himself as he dusted off the books, trying hard to think about anything that wasn't the copper haired demon.

He sat staring straight ahead at nothing in particular, he ran his hand in circles along the surface of the sofa. His face had taken on a sullen look as he plucked at a loose thread at the corner of one of the plush cushions. He saw something then, tucked just down the side of the sofa cushion. He reached out picking it up and bringing it to eye level to study. A scale, perfectly crimson as it glittered in the book shop light. Aziraphale felt his throat tighten and his bottom lip wobble.

"Crowley.." he whined out rather pathetically.

The scale dropped from his hands as they began to shake. He mentally cursed clambering off the sofa to try and catch it before it hit the floor. He was never good with fast movements and he clumsily tumbled to the floor. He lay there for a moment his eyes clamped shut, not breathing. Then with a huff he opened his eyes, he could see the scale just in front of his face but behind it tucked under the sofa was something else.

He stretched out his hand, slipping it under the sofa and closing it around a bottle. He sat up slowly as he pulled it out into view. Strange, he thought, he was always very meticulous with his cleaning, how had he missed this?

The angle turned the bottle over in his hands bringing the label into view. His mouth opened and his eyes widened as the memory hit him so hard it took the breath from his lungs. He remembered the look on Crowley's face, the demons slitted pupils dilated as he had leant in to steal a kiss from the angel. He remembers pushing crowley away and the look of shock and betrayal on the demon's face.

Aziraphale couldn't catch his breath, he didn't need to breath but that wasn't the point. He felt as though his lungs were collapsing in on themselves and his throat was closing. That night.. 

"I had been so cruel to him". He felt dampness on his face as tears started to spill from his eyes. 

It was different back then, they both had their respective sides to answer too. They had jobs to be getting on with, but now it was different again. There were no jobs to be getting on with. They had all the time in the world for whatever they chose to do. Aziraphale made a panicked noise jumping to his feet, he ran to the phone grabbing the receiver. He hesitated. He thought of the way Crowley had been towards him in the car. The demon must have been feeling such inner turmoil. Aziraphale squeezed the phone in his hands his knuckles turning white.

What was he even going to say? `Oh yes, hello dear, I just remembered the night I denied you. I know it's been eleven years but i would very much like to talk?' No, that was stupid. He felt a sinking feeling run through his body. Crowley had lived with that memory for all this time and still had contacted him for help eleven years ago. The pain it must have caused the demon to continue their friendship knowing that the angel had rejected him so harshly.

Spending those eleven years so closely with the demon had definitely brought them closer together. It had made the angel unable to deny to himself that Crowley was much more than just a demon. In fact he was kind and gentle, he more often than not did the right thing, even if he did try to play it off as the wrong thing. In truth Aziraphale should have known what he had felt towards the demon. He had known since that night in the crumbled church, when crowley had saved his books when he had absolutely no reason to. Everytime he had been with the demon after that night he had felt his heart flutter on his chest.

He slammed the phone back into the cradle a little to hard. He stood staring at the phone as if willing it to give him the answers he needed. His hands were pulled into tight fists at his sides, he was at a total loss. He had never been in this situation before, talking about one's feelings was quite difficult when one had tried centuries to ignore them. He turned from the phone, walking over to his favorite view point at the bookshop window. He liked to stand here and watch the world go by, something he had began to appreciate more since the almost apocalypse. 

He watched the people going by in the late August sunshine, fiddling with the hem of his waistcoat. He caught sight of a couple walking past holding hands, he watched as they looked at each other with warm smiles, he watched as the man leaned in and kissed the woman without a care in the world. Aziraphale felt the tips of his ears burn, but he didn't look away. Could he have that? Could he have that with Crowley. He looked down at his hand, picturing Crowley's entwined with his.

So much had stopped them before, Aziraphale had been so utterly terrified of being cast out from heaven just for talking with the demon. Terrified God would smite him and burn his wings to black sending him tumbling to hell, terrified of losing her love. It had meant everything to him to be loved by her, it felt like his only purpose, to spread joy and miracles and receive her love. Standing here now though, he knew that there was no going back for him, he would never again be able to stand in her warm loving light, not after disobeying heaven in such an out right way.

So then, what had his purpose become? To be here on earth, it couldn't be that simple could it? He had been given a second chance here on earth, well, everyone had. 

"A second chance indeed" Aziraphale mumbled looking back over his shoulder at the phone. If the almighty had allowed for him to have a second chance then maybe, just maybe he would be allowed a second chance with Crowley. He straightened his shoulders lifted his head and walked purposefully back to the phone.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Crowely had drove until he could drive no more, he had reached the sea. He sat staring out at the waves, his mind a million miles away. 

"Shit" he grumbled tightening his grip on the steering wheel. He grimaced as the lyrics to 'somebody to love' swirled out of the stereo filling up the car. With a growl deep in his throat he slammed his hand down on the off button. The silence wasn't any better.

He opened the car door, stepping out into the cool sea breeze. He slowly walked until his shoes were treading into soft sand. He removed his shades allowing the sun to glisten off his golden eyes, he looked straight ahead watching a ship on the horizon. Crowley felt completely lost, not in the sense of where he was but in the sense that he didn't know what he was anymore. A strangled noise left his throat as he felt pain in his chest. He clutched his shirt tightly in a fist. He felt the unwanted sensation of tears pricking at his eyes, he roughly wiped them with his arm clenching his teeth to breaking point.

"DAMN YOU!" he screamed out at the water. "DAMN ALL OF YOU! ESPECIALLY YOU!" he pointed a perfectly painted nail straight up at the sky. "WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME? I ONLY ASKED QUESTIONS!" He choked back a sob as his screaming became frantic.

"IF YOU HAD TO CAST ME OUT WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE EVERYTHING FROM ME? WHY LEAVE ME WITH THESE.. THESE.. these feelings" his voice broke as he doubled over, hand still clinging to his shirt just over his heart.

"I don't know what to do with all this.. he doesn't want me.. HE DOESN'T WANT ME!!" the last part came out as a strangled scream as his knees hit the sand. Crowley's breath was coming in short sharp burst that shook his body.

The wind blew his hair into his face harshly but Crowley hardly noticed. 

"He doesn't want me.. because of what i am.." his voice was barely audible now. A vile creature undeserving of forgiveness, undeserving of love. 

Back in the Bentley his phone was ringing, Aziraphale's name on the screen.

Crowley was in such a devastating stoop he hadn't noticed someone approach from behind. 

"Anthony?" Came the femanine voice laced with concern.

Crowley blinked then swinging around on his knees. Anathema stood just behind him her brow pulled into something that resembled worry. Crowley pulled his lips into a slight snarl.

"What are you doing here?" He had meant it to sound threatening but the wobble in his voice betrayed him.

"Newt's idea of a holiday" she explained taking a step towards the dishevelled demon in front of her. He looked a right mess, hair all over the place, sand smeared on his trousers. She also didn't miss the hand clenched at his chest or the yellow eyes filled with pain. 

"Ngk" was all Crowley could spit out, he tried to get to his feet but stumbled backwards into the sand.

"Are you alright?" Anathema asked, kneeling down beside him. She reached out a hand placing it on his shoulder. 

"I saw the Bentley, i only know of one person to drive one of those, so i thought i would come say hello, see how you were getting on" she smiled at him, a look of concern in her eyes that made Crowley uncomfortable.

"Guh.. m'fine" he started quickly moving away from her touch. "Just thought I would you know come see the sea side".

Her frown grew deeper as she pulled her arm back to her side. She looked over at the Bentley then back to the demon.

"Where is Mr Fell?" She asked noticing it was quite strange to see them apart.

"I don't bloody know! How am i s'posed to know? Not like I'm his mother" Crowley growled at her, managing this time to climb to his feet.

Anathema didn't miss the defensiveness in his voice as she followed suit and stood as well.

"Had a falling out?" She pressed not willing to drop the subject. Crowley stared daggers into her for a second before letting out a sigh and closing his eyes.

What the hell? Why not tell her? he had to talk to someone about this otherwise he felt his head might explode. His shoulder went slack as he opened his eyes and looked at her.

"It's not a falling out" he said in a strangled voice "you have to be something for there to be a falling out".

She blinked at this, the statement surprising her. She had assumed that the two men were in fact something. 

"You are though, if nothing else your very good friends" she offered with a smile.

"Yeah, friends.." Crowley looked away from her back out to the sea.

"You don't just want to be friends though do you?" She tilted her head to the side trying to catch Crowley's eye. He looked back at her, he was biting down hard on his lower lip. Was it that obvious? He glanced down at himself then, he looked a right state. Clothes wrinkled and soiled with damp sand he dreaded to think what the rest of him looked like. 

"I can't have anything more" he said.

"And why not?" She asked.

"It's not possible" he insisted.

"Anything is possible, if you really think about it" she pushed.

He looked at her, studying her face. Anything? No not anything. Not this. 

"Ngk" he groaned out turning away from her then, ready to make a dash for the Bentley. This conversation was pointless.

"If you have forgotten you helped stop the impossible. You and Mr Fell stopped the end of the world. Most people would say that was impossible, but it wasn't we did it!" She said this with and excited giddiness in her voice, she could still hardly believe that they had managed it in the first place (although her memories were incredibly fuzzy on the subject). Crowley took a step away but stopped, turning to look at her once more.

"If you can do that, then I don't see why you and Mr Fell have to stay as just friends" she stated this as if it was a matter of fact. 

"He.. he doesn't want me" he said feeling himself shake as he said the words.

Anathema smiled slightly shaking her head.

"That's not true Anthony. Anyone can see that that is not true".

Crowley just stared at her then, trying to process this information in his scrambled mind. They heard a shout then from further back on the sand. They turned to see Newt waving at them a stupid smile on his face. Anathema smiled and waved back then turned back to Crowley.

"I should go" she said.

"Can't keep my fiance waiting now can i?" She offered a warm smile to the demon. "I hope you do the right thing. Tell him how you feel. I mean what's stopping you?" 

She turned to leave then. 

"Is it worth it?" Crowley asked before she was out of earshot. "All these feelings?".

She looked at Newt then back to Crowley. 

"They make it worth it" she said, then she was walking away across the sand towards Newt. Crowley watched her go before slipping his shades back on his face. He looked once more at the sea, then he walked purposefully back to the Bentley finally knowing what he had to do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankyou for reading :)


	5. Let's talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we have made it to the end of this story. As i promised the angst ends here.
> 
> As this was my first ever fic that i have shared i have been amazed by the amount of people who have taken time to read this.
> 
> Thankyou everyone who has left comments and kudos. Love you guys.

Crowley noticed the notification light blinking on his phone as he climbed back into the Bentley. He frowned slightly, no one ever called him. Except.. He made a grab for the phone so fast it slid across the seat and into the passenger footwell.

"Shit" he bent to pick it up hitting his head on the dashboard, stars flashing in his vision from the contact.

"Arrrghh" he cried out in pain and frustration finally clutching onto the phone and bringing it into view.

3 missed calls. Aziraphale.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Aziraphale had called, then he had called again, then with a little bit of desperation he had called again. He was indeed flustered, a feeling that came quite naturally to him. Crowely always answered his calls. For Aziraphale having tried three times and getting nothing, this was a big deal. The angel paced the worn floorboards back and forth for what felt like several hours but in reality was only about twenty five minutes.

"Oh, oh dear.. What do I do now?" He said aloud to himself as he paced. "I've missed my chance.. surely that's it". He reached the window and looked out, clouds were gathering in the sky creating a tense feeling that happens before a big storm. Aziraphale swallowed looking up into the sky. What now?

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Fat drops of rain splashed against the front window of the Bentley. Crowley hadn't moved a muscle in several minutes as he stared down at his phone. He kept thinking back to the conversation between Anathema and himself, his grip on the phone tightened. He swiped his thumb over the screen hearing the familiar click of it unlocking. Aziraphale was right at the top of his contact list, in truth he was the only one in Crowley's contacts.

He took a trembling breath before tapping down on the call button besides the angels name. There was a slight pause before the call connected and began to ring. Crowely stopped breathing all together. Waiting.

Then the call was answered, it sounded as though Aziraphale dropped the phone.

"H-hello?" Came the angels voice through the speaker.

"Aziraphale"

"Crowely!"

A pause.

"Aziraphale i.."

"Crowley where the bloody hell are you?!"

Crowley found himself smiling at the angels curse.

"I'm at the sea angel"

"The sea? Oh.. right. Not the best weather for it"

Crowely looked out the window, the rain was now falling steadily around the Bentley.

"No s'pose it isn't"

There was a long pause then, Crowley could hear Aziraphale fiddling with something on the other end of the line. Crowely cleared his throat before speaking again.

"Ang.. Aziraphale, can we.."

"Talk?" Aziraphale finished.

Crowley's felt his heart flutter inside his ribcage. He hated the feeling the angel's voice created in him, hope.

"Will you come?"

The angel sounded worried, Crowley could hear it in the way he spoke. 

"I won't be long" Crowley hesitated wanting to say more, wanting to keep Aziraphale on the line.

"Ah, good. Excellent. Well get a wiggle on, i will be waiting". With that the angel ended the call, leaving Crowley with nothing but the dial tone.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Aziraphale put the phone into the cradle, his hands were shaking so much he missed the cradle twice. He turned, looking around himself at the shop. The rain was beating hard on the window, with a click of his fingers the front door to the shop was locked and the blinds were pulled down. He walked to the back of the store waving his hands over his desk willing everything into perfect order. 

His heart was beating hard and he could feel panic rising viciously in his chest. He stood in front of his antique Victorian full body mirror studying himself. He waved his hand over himself, suddenly standing in a perfectly pressed and tailored white suit, with an after thought he clicked his fingers changing his bow tie to a crimson one, Crowley's favorite colour.

Satisfied with his appearance he turned back to the room at hand. In truth, the room was in perfect order, perfectly set out and dusted. This did not ease the angel though, he stood completely stiff just staring at the room listening to the rain. He took a slow deliberate breath to try and steady his shaken nerves.

He walked over to the sofa, he sat, he got up again. A worried noise escaped his throat as he walked back over to the desk and sat on his chair. He didn't move after that, he just sat perfectly still staring towards the back of the shop. Waiting.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Crowely parked the Bentley in its usual space outside the book shop. The streets of London were empty of people, the rain had proceeded to get heavier since their conversation over the phone. Lightening drew blinding lines across the sky, the thunder that followed shook the Bentley. Crowley clicked his fingers making sure the car was locked and secure then materialized himself outside the back door of the shop.

He stood under the slight shelter of the door frame willing himself to go inside. He removed his shades putting them in his breast pocket. This was it, he knew, if this 'talk' did not lead to anything then there will never  _ be _ anything. There was no point in delaying it any longer, he could sense the angels presence through the thick wood of the door. He knew that the angel would be able to sense him too.

With a hand much steadier than his nerves he reached and turned the handle allowing the door to swing inwards, he stepped into the parlour. It was deathly quiet inside making Crowley feel even more nervous. He heard the scrape of a chair moving further inside the shop, he straightened his shoulders and walked through the doorway into the main shop. He froze.

His mouth went dry when he saw the angel standing by his desk. He looked radiant in a perfect white suit, the crimson bowtie standing out beautifully against the pure white of his collar. Crowley couldn't help but stare, he dragged his eyes up Aziraphale's body until his gaze settled on the angels face. Aziraphale's cheeks had a dusting of pink as he wriggled under the demon's gaze.

Crowley's own cheeks began to colour when he realized how long he had been staring. He brought an arm up scratching the back of his head and forced a smile onto his face.

"You look.. you look real nice angel" he complimented his smile growing more genuine when he saw the look this statement brought to the angels face.

"Well, yes, th-thankyou" Aziraphale forced his hands to stop fiddling with the hem of his waistcoat. There was a silence then, both entities standing on opposite sides of the room, neither knowing what to say next.

"Why were you at the sea?" Aziraphale broke the silence, the tension in the room making him want to squirm.

"I er.. I had some thinking to do" came Crowley's reply. 

"About me?" Asked the angel who was looking at Crowley's shirt collar not able to bring himself to make eye contact.

Crowley looked at the angel noticing Aziraphale's hand were in tight fists at his sides.

"Yes angel, in truth I never stop thinking about you".

Aziraphale did look at his face then, his mouth slightly open. He began to say something but Crowley cut him off.

"Always angel. When I wake up in the morning all I see is you. I can't do anything without thinking of you" Crowley unconsciously took a step closer to the frozen angel.

"It's always been this way for me. All these years, thousands and thousands of years all i ever think about is  _ you!"  _ Crowley could see the angel begin to speak again but he raised his hands, Aziraphale closed his mouth.

"I followed you everywhere. All those times I told you I just so happened to be in the area. They were lies angel. I have lied to you countless times because if i told you the truth.. if I told you that I physically cannot be apart from you.. you would surely push me away.. and.. I just can't stand to have you push me away again".

Crowley was shaking, he was clutching his chest again feeling the hot burning pain his words were creating inside of him.

"Angel i.. i.." the words would not come. All the years of pushing them down they had become stuck in his throat and would not budge. A wretched sobbing noise escaped the demon's throat as he looked back at the angel who had not so much as moved a muscle.

Crowley felt as though the world was crashing down around him. He was losing all control of himself and he felt terrified. Aziraphale watched in horror as a tear escaped the corner of the demons eye and rolled down his cheek. Before the angel knew what he was doing he had closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms protectively around Crowley's upper body. He felt the gasp of air escape the demon's lips and brush past his ear and he squeezed him tighter running his hand through the soft copper hair.

"Shhh shh my dear, its okay" Aziraphale held Crowley as the demon's form shook with hushed sobs.

"I am so so sorry Crowley. If I hadn't been such a coward all this time you wouldn't be feeling like this. If i had just been brave enough.. how could I have made you feel this way" Aziraphale felt his own tears threaten to flow but he blinked hard forcing them back. It was his turn to be brave and after all these years it was his turn to save Crowley.

He released Crowley enough to hold his shoulders at arm's length. Crowley didn't look at the angel, his eyes clamped shut, wet and red from his tears. Aziraphale felt his lip wobble at the sight of his demon's tears. He reached up a hand and gently wiped at the tears still falling down Crowley's cheeks. Then the demon did open his eyes and Aziraphale felt his heart squeeze painfully. The sadness in those golden eyes stabbed at the angel.

"Crowley my dear. You have always been there for me. Always there to help me, to save me when I had gotten myself into trouble. I don't know where I would be without you, and that night.. I pushed you away.." 

Crowley started, his eyes became wide with surprise.

"Y-you remember?" He asked in a broken voice.

"Yes dear.. I remember now" Aziraphale smiled softly cupping the demon's cheek.

"I was a fool. A complete fool. I had all these doubts all these fears. I didn't want to lose who i was.. what i was.. i-i, i didn't want to fall from grace.."

Crowley tried moving away from Aziraphale, his mouth had become a tight line but his tears still stained his face. Aziraphale tightened his grip on Crowley's shoulder pulling his face gently with his hand so that their eyes met.

"I was a fool because in reality all that I should have been worried about was losing you".

Lightning flashed across the sky again lighting up the room for a brief moment. They stood, bodies mere inches apart. Crowley had gone still like a deer stuck in the headlights of an oncoming truck. He could feel Aziraphale running his thumb ever so gently over the skin of his cheek, he could feel his face burning up at the sensation.

He brought his arm up then, wiping at his eyes and face, trying to get rid of the evidence of his tears. Their eyes made contact, it was like electricity passed between them, Crowley felt his fear slowly drift away.

"Aziraphale, I love you so much. I love you so much it hurts" he placed his own hands on the angels waist. Aziraphale's already red face became like fire at the contact but he did not go to move away, he stood fast keeping his eyes locked with the demons.

"I don't want you to fall.. I want you to be happy. All I've ever wanted was for you to me happy" Crowley said this still fighting the tears that threatened to escape once more.

"I know I'm wretched.."

"Crowley no.."

"Please angel let me speak" he took a deep breath forcing himself to continue.

"I would go back and change everything if it meant I would not fall, if it meant I could be with you.. and not be this disgusting creature that I am now" he clenched his teeth.

Aziraphale was shaking his head. 

"I wouldn't want you to go back. I would live through everything again but this time I would make some small changes" said the angel. Crowley creased his brows slightly listening to Aziraphale's words. 

"Instead of hiding I would have told you how I feel" Aziraphale smiled softly at the demon. He ran his hand down Crowley's cheek bringing it to rest on the side of his neck.

"How you feel?" Crowley's voice sounded so meek to his ears it made him horribly embarrassed.

"I love you Crowley" he studied the demon's face, seeing his slitted pupils dilate as he spoke the words.

"I have loved you for so long, i think i have loved you right from the start," he ran his hands through Crowley's beautiful copper hair "I don't want to hide anymore".

Crowley lifted his head, more tears had escaped from his eyes but he had quit caring. His heart was racing and his head was spinning with euphoria. He couldn't believe his ears, he brought his arms up wrapping them around the angels middle, clinging on for dear life. Their noses brushed sending a jolt through them both, a shiver spread through Crowley's body.

Then just like that, Aziraphale closed the distance completely pressing his lips gently to Crowley's. Crowley felt like his knees were going to give way his grip on the angel growing ever tighter. The demon allowed his eyes to slip closed drinking in the sensation of Aziraphale's lips upon his and the angels hand on his cheeks. Aziraphale pulled away slightly hot breath crossing Crowley's face. 

"Ngk" Crowley whined pulling Aziraphale back into a more heated kiss, not wanting it to end.

Crowley's heart was singing, he couldn't remember ever being this happy in his entire existence, except maybe the day he had met Aziraphale. For once everything felt like it was going the demon's way, he would almost say he felt blessed, and in a way standing here in his Angel's arms he was.

They stayed this way, pressed together sharing kisses and love confessions. The whole world a million miles away. It was only when the rain began to fade that they separated, blushing furiously and giggling like school girls. Crowley held onto the Angel's hand stroking his thumb over the soft flesh. Aziraphale gave Crowley that bright smile that always made the demon's stomach flip. 

When Aziraphale was able to pull himself away from the demon, he walked over to the shop window waving his hand to open the blinds. His breath caught in his throat. The sun shone down through the window encasing the angel in the brilliant rays. He closed his eyes lifting his head to soak in the warmth, to soak in the love he didn't think he would feel again. He sighed slightly when he felt Crowley's arms wrap around his waist from behind, placing a kiss on the angels cheek.

Aziraphale felt completely calm, he turned stepping out of the light and taking Crowley's hand in his own, lacing their fingers. 'I have all the love I need right here' he thought with a smile.

"Shall we have a drink then my love?"

"You still got that chardonnay?"

"Yes" Aziraphale beamed "and I believe it is the perfect day for it".

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

A few days later Crowley found himself back in the park where it had all began. He sat on the same bench looking out at the same lake, but nothing was the same. He smiled to himself thinking of the past few days. They had been utter bliss locked away in the book shop with his angel, making up for lost time. There was still a lot of lost time to make up for and Crowley was very excited. He turned when he heard a throat clear behind him, Aziraphale stood holding a blanket and picnic basket.

"Shall we pick a spot?" Chirped the angel holding his hand out to the demon. Crowley jumped up linking his fingers with Aziraphales. He pecked the angel on the cheek laughing softly when Aziraphale turned pink.

"C'mon angel" he lead him over to the tree and had seen the couple eating under before, taking the blanket from Aziraphale and laying it out evenly. He sat down, spreading his legs out in front of him and watched with admiration as Aziraphale busied himself with placing the food out over the blanket. The angel sat down beside the demon, giving Crowley a wink before looking back at the food. 

Crowley reached out his arm taking Aziraphale gently by the chin and turning his face towards him. He kissed him, it was quick but it held a promise of more later. Aziraphale hummed with content.

They sat together until the sun went down, eating and drinking and reminiscing but most importantly making plans for the future. A future they would spend together free and brave. Never hiding again, because after all what was stopping them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thankyou for reading :)


End file.
